The Entire Story of Hamlet Told with Gifs from Dumb and Dumber!

OK, so I’m… over a week late with my blog post. Sorry. And I’m writing kind of an easy but fun article. Thing is, I’m a little bummed about summer winding down so I thought I’d write this blog post just for funzies. But seriously though… I get even more bummed out when people are intimidated by Shakespeare. Also, I’ll have you know, Dumb and Dumber is actually a very smart movie. We’re meant to sympathize with Harry and Lloyd and it’s a commentary on how society throws away people like them–and it makes us laugh! That’s good! Furthermore… Hamlet is actually really funny play! I’d even call it a satire. It kills me how the humor of this play goes over people’s heads and how people see it as cut and dry, black and white, and so on. It’s a drama that makes us laugh–because Hamlet, and other characters are calling out society’s bullshit. And throughout the play, people are dying like flies. Pretty cool, huh? I’ll write another article explaining this in more detail, but for right now, I’m just gonna write something funny. So, without further ado, here’s the entire story of Hamlet told with Dumb and Dumber gifs! Just for shits and giggles.

OK, so it starts out with a guard named Francisco who’s been seeing a ghost so he’s about to shit himself, right? Yeah, that’s the ghost of Hamlet’s father.

Then Barnardo comes and relieves Francisco.

Marcellus and Horatio come in. Horatio is skeptical. But the ghost appears twice.  After the first time, Horatio tells the story of Fortinbras. Yeah, that’s guy who Hamlet’s father killed before the play starts. And now Fortinbras’s son is pissed off and wants revenge.

Then the ghost appears again but doesn’t say anything and leaves. Horatio suggests they relay this info to Hamlet.

King Claudius gives a speech saying he’s mourning Hamlet Senior’s death, but they should all rejoice at his marriage to Gertrude. And he’s clearly enjoying his life as the new king.

He also says Fortinbras is demanding the land that Hamlet Senior took and sends Cornelius and Voltimand with a message to the king of Norway.

Laertes askes Claudius if he can leave now that the wedding ceremony is over. He’s given permission. Then Claudius asks Hamlet why he’s still mourning his RECENTLY deceased father.

Gertrude tells Hamlet to knock it off. Claudius calls him unmanly and says to think of Claudius as his father. He also says Hamlet should not return to college, and Gertrude agrees. Hamlet begrudgingly agrees. Hamlet laments all of this.

Then Horatio and Bernardo come in and tell him about the ghost.

Hamlet says he should probably check that out…

So then Polonius and Laertes both mansplain to Ophelia about what a life with Hamlet would be like, him being a man of power and all. Ophelia claps back at Laertes by calling out the double standard of sexuality. Basically she’s not having that.

Although with Polonius she reluctantly obeys his orders to ignore Hamlet.

Hamlet, Horatio and Marcellus wait outside at night for the ghost. They hear the king partying and rich boy Hamlet says he’s ashamed of the custom.

The ghost comes, Hamlet follows him. Horatio wants to split…

But Marcellus convinces him to follow Hamlet.

So then Hamlet Senior’s ghost tells Hamlet that he’s doing time in purgatory.

And that also he was murdered by Claudius. Then he splits. Then Hamlet tells his friends that he’s gonna fake madness and has them swear not to tell anyone what they’ve seen.

Polonius sends a servant to spy on Laertes.

Ophelia then enters and says Hamlet approached her and acted like a real nut job.

Polonius says he must be lovesick and he rushes to tell Claudius.

Then Hamlet’s buddies Rosencrantz and Guildenstern come, and well, they’re a couple of screwballs.

Gertrude and Claudius tell them to cheer up Hamlet.  Or discover the cause of his sadness at least. They agree to give it a shot.

Voltimand and Cornelious say King Norway was pissed at Fortinbras for attempting to make war with Denmark, Fortinbras said he’d stop. Fortinbras was awarded money and was told to attack Poland.

Then Polonius, Claudius and Gertrude agree to use Ophelia to spy on Hamlet to see if he’s really lovesick. Much to Ophelia’s dismay.

Polonius tries to talk to Hamlet but Hamlet messes with him.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern enter. Hamlet goads them to reveal that they’ve been sent by the king and queen and Hamlet says he knows why: he’s lost all joy and is sad. So they wanna cheer him up.

Rosencrantz suggest the actors will cheer him up. The players come in a do a little show for them.

Then Hamlet says he’ll have them do a play with words he inserts into the text. Then Hamlet gives a speech lamenting that the actors can summon feelings for long dead people and yet Hamlet can’t take any action for his own situation. Then comes up with the idea to put the play on–which very closely resembles his father’s murder. So yeah, then he feels more confident.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern report back to the king and queen that they don’t know what’s wrong with Hamlet but says Hamlet is excited for the players.

So the king and queen say they’ll see the play. Then the king tells Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to split, along with Gertrude. Then the king and Polonius tell Ophelia to walk along and let herself be greeted by Hamlet and so they can watch. But she hides herself as Hamlet enters and then Hamlet gives this soliloquy that’s like, really famous or something…

Then Hamlet and Ophelia talk. Hamlet discovers Ophelia is spying on him and assumes she’s doing it willingly. So now he’s pissed off, says some fucked up shit to her, and storms off. Claudius doesn’t think Hamlet’s lovesick and Polonius disagrees. But both agree he should go to England.

Hamlet preps the actors, and praises Horatio for being so level headed. Hamlet gives Horatio a heads up that he’ll be acting nutty. He also taunts Ophelia.

The play within the play happens which freaks out Claudius, which Hamlet is quite pleased with.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern press Hamlet about his recent behavior which pisses him off. Hamlet then agrees to talk with his mother… and keep his cool. 

Claudius is shaken up, tells Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to escort Hamlet to England. Then prays. But check it out–Hamlet doesn’t kill him though! Why? ‘Cause he thinks Claudius will go to Heaven if he’s killed right after praying.

So then Hamlet goes to his mother’s room and he’s pissed off at her. Gertrude misinterprets his anger and thinks he’s gonna kill her–which causes Polonius to yell out for help–and Hamlet stabs him to death, thinking that he’s Claudius! But instead of talking about that he goes ON AND ON to his mother about how pissed he is that she’s been doing Claudius.

Then the ghost shows up and tells Hamlet to stop being a dick.

Then Hamlet tells Gertrude that his “madness” is all an act and tells her not to reveal it to Claudius. Then he hides the body. Claudius tells Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to find Hamlet. So they do that, but now Hamlet’s REALLY acting like a nut job!

Hamlet accuses them of working for Claudius then agrees to be escorted by them to the king.

So then Hamlet talks to Claudius and is still being totally coy. And eventually tells him where Polonius’s body is. Then Claudius tells Hamlet that Hamlet is going to England which he’s fine with.

But it’s revealed that Claudius is gonna tell England’s leaders to kill Hamlet.

Hamlet learns that Fortinbras will march his troupes through Denmark. Also learns that Fortinbras is sending troupes to war for a worthless piece of land. This inspires hamlet to take revenge against Claudius—finally.

Oh, and Ophelia? Well…Ophelia has a breakdown. I mean… she pretty much saw a shit storm coming right from the beginning, but naturally no one listened to her (she’s a chick, after all) and instead treated her like a fuckin’ child.

The people of Denmark are pissed about Polonius, and next thing they know Laertes comes back with a vengeance and aims to kill Claudius.

But then Claudius tells Laertes to hear him out. Laertes is grief stricken to see Ophelia’s state.

Then Horatio learns Hamlet was kidnapped by pirates and but he’s back in Denmark now. Sure, why not.

Claudius tells Laertes that he hastily buried Polonius and isn’t seeking vengeance because the people and Gertrude love Hamlet so much. Then he and Laertes hatch a plan to kill Hamlet by having a fencing match between Hamlet and Laertes. Laertes puts poison on the tip of his sword so even if he barely touches Hamlet with it it’ll kill him. As a back up plan Claudius plans to poison some wine for Hamlet to drink.

Then Gertrude enters and says Ophelia has drowned.

OK, so now we’re in the graveyard, right? And the gravediggers say Ophelia shouldn’t have a Christian burial since her death was likely a suicide, but she’s rich and all. Then Hamlet chastises the gravedigger for screwing around with dead people’s skulls. I mean, hey, one of them might have belonged to a lawyer or something!

Then he holds Yorick’s skull. Then Ophelia’s funeral arrives. Johnny Come Lately–I mean Hamlet–says he loved her SO MUCH.

Then later he tells Horatio that Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead.. he had ‘em killed even though there wasn’t solid evidence of them being on the King’s side. Guess he jumped to conclusions there but he doesn’t seem to think so…

And Horatio’s like, whatever, dude.

Then Hamlet and Horatio are informed of the sword fight challenge from Laertes and Hamlet accepts.

And then there’s a big ass sword fight! Fuck yeah!

And uh… ok, stay with me here… in the middle of the fight Gertrude drinks from the poison cup even though Claudius tells her not to. Meanwhile Laertes has an attack of conscience but continues the fight. Hamlet is cut with the poisoned sword—but then in a scuffle they accidentally exchange swords and Laertes is cut with it. Oh, yeah! It’s on now, bitch!!!

The queen falls, then says to Hamlet her drink is poisoned, she dies, Hamlet grieves for a moment. Laertes confesses everything and says the king’s to blame for her death.

Hamlet finally kills Claudius first by cutting him then forces him to drink the poison.

Hamlet and Laertes exchange forgiveness. Aw.

Laertes dies. Then Hamlet asks Horatio to tell his story. Then he dies. Then Fortinbras comes in and says fuck you people but then shows them mercy. He takes over Denmark.

The moral of the story? Fuck around and find out!