Work in community theater? Want to know a lot of great tips on writing an audition notice that’s sure to  piss people off and make them hate you? Look no further!

How to write an audition notice for community theater

Do not include show dates or rehearsal dates.

Actors love it when you’re vague about information and they don’t need to check their schedules to see if they’re available.

Do not say if the project pays.

An actor always wants to work for you, solely out of the kindness of their heart. You do not need to say if you’re paying them, or even making an effort to. All we want to do is make your dream come true, and not ever ours.

If you do say that your project pays, for God sake, don’t ever say how much.

Actors love it when you put them on the spot. Please make us awkwardly ask you! And if we do have the absolute audacity to ask, please be sure to bite our heads off. Someone is just being an ingrate for asking anyway, when they should be licking your boots.

If you have the means to pay your artists, for God sake, don’t!

Of course you need to jump through hoops to make it as an actor and sometimes that includes choosing a volunteer gig to build your resume. But please assume we enjoy working for free and the only thing in the world we care about is you. If you have money to pay us but choose not to, we should just be grateful to work on your starry eyed project.

BONUS ITEM!

Run your audition very poorly!

Please talk to each other when an actor is doing their reading. Don’t look at them, don’t pay attention to them. People love having their time wasted.

Also, be vague about when you’re going to get back to people about whether or not they’re cast. If you do things like not say when we should hear from you by, or maybe contact us a long time after the audition when we’ve honestly forgot about the whole thing. That’s awesome.  But if you do tell us we’re not cast, please go on and on about what a hard decision it was. Because that… that just makes it feel so much better.

OK, all kidding aside…

Theater is hard work. And community theater has just as much quality as union theater. And yet these are all things I’ve seen in auditions. And it’s very frustrating. Being a community theater is no reason to not practice professionalism. Actors work very hard to find shows, so you need to meet their needs to the best of your ability and means and also treat them well, even if you can’t pay them. If you’re a newbie, that’s fine, you haven’t start somewhere. But no matter how big or small your project is, please take it seriously and learn the very basic rules. Also, on volunteer gigs… am I against them? Absolutely not. It is what it is. Sometimes people can’t afford to pay someone and actors just want to play the role. I’m not always gonna be in a position where I can work for free, or next to nothing, but right now I am and I’m gonna seize that opportunity. But am I against companies that can afford to pay people but choose not to? Yes. This isn’t hard to figure out.